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Laughter

from Emerge by Garrador

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lyrics

Why
Why did it have to be this way
Why was I born into this fragile shell
Why did I inherit my own seat in hell
What did they do to me
What have I done to myself
What has been done to this world
I long for the purity of my youth
But find only solemn defeat
Beneath the illusion I wear
I beg for the merciful dark
To consume my soul
To empty this shell
To be free of the burden
Be free of life
Be free of these thoughts in my head

Face buried in the pillow
As laughter seeps into the room
I can only offer my tears in return
And gaze into the abyss

For it has gazed deeply into me
Leaving me frightened prepared for defeat
But still unprepared for this world I was given
I can no longer stand on my own two feet
Cast aside all that claim to care
For none of you knew how to help me
I was all alone then as I'm all alone now
Scared of life scared of death

Death

Cast aside all who claim to care,
For none of you knew how to help me
I was all alone then as I'm all alone now
Scared of life

Death
Dear god
Give me death
Please have mercy
Death
Silence
Give me death
Please just end it
God
God

There's nothing to stay here to see,
I will never escape from mistakes for they make up my being
I carry the guilt to the grave a timid and tortured and foolish young boy made obscene
By an infernal world with a cynical god
Happiness worn as a facade
Still I hear laughter
All I hear is laughter

God just let it be done
Let me descend to hell for it is better than earth
At least in hell there is no lie of hope
There is only outward pain
Instead of inward
Release me from the grip of this life
But you won't
I'll simply release myself

Take this blanket under which I hide
Wrap it round my throat to silence my cries
Tighter
Tighter
Tighter
Tighter
Leave my eyes devoid of light

credits

from Emerge, released October 14, 2019

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Garrador Exeter, New Hampshire

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